I don't find myself attractive...
Huh....do you sometimes look at the mirror and not like what you see?
I like to think it's normal, at least for many of us. We have days, months or even years that we are not attracted to what we see, moments when the mirror is not our best friend, and seasons where we just cannot recognize the person in the mirror. This can be due to many reasons such as stress, hormones, mood, the weather, the environment, etc.
So what do you do when you just don't like what you see?
I'll start by telling a little about a story about myself. I come from an African home, and if you are from an African country, you probably will relate. Our families, especially our aunties and uncles, are always feeling entitled to comment about our image. I remember even at school I was sometimes verbally bullied by friends about the way that I looked. I admit though, I was definitely out of shape back then and I was always ashamed to go out or to do anything that would attract attention to me. Because of the way people viewed me and their comments, I hated myself. I never thought I was beautiful, ever!
I hated parties and had a difficult time making friends. Along the way, I decided that it was time for me to lose some weight. Losing weight will make people respect me, like me, and I will be beautiful. Interestingly, I did. I lost weight, felt great, and loved my image. I definitely loved what I saw in the mirror, but not for long. After a few months, I started to put on muscle, and the comments started all over!
What I am trying to say here is that your confidence should not come from anyone but from within. I am a firm believer that confidence should be and can be cultivated! It is common to lose your confidence sometimes and though this might sound a little cliché , you really have to believe and love yourself first! Compliments are great, but do not always wait for people to tell you that you are beautiful or that you are able to do something to start believing it.
So how do I gain my confidence back?
1. Self Acceptance: I realized during my journey that I had to start accepting my flaws. I had to accept me, my body, and everything that was mine. Accepting your body and who you are allows you to forgive yourself and it allows you to give room for errors and growth.
2. Mirror Mirror, who is the greatest of all?: I did a 30 day challenge where every morning, I will meditate on my blessings. The fact that I was alive, I was well and healthy, and I had the opportunity to exercise and influence others. Additionally, I would look at the mirror every day and tell the mirror that I was wonderful and beautifully made. This changed the way that I saw myself. I knew that I was never perfect, but I realized that I was perfectly created.
3. Hobbies: Getting a hobby will increase your self confidence and allow you to focus on strengths, rather than your weaknesses. Some hobbies include blogging/vlogging, exercising, singing, playing an instrument, photography, etc.
4. Travel: Traveling somehow gives people a bigger view of the world. I still don't understand how or why, but I noticed that many people who travel tend to be very confident. Probably because they see the world in a bigger perspective.
4. Good Friendship: You know you have a good friend when they bring positive energy into your life and always want to see you do better. Although, you shouldn't always depend on an external source for your confidence or happiness, good friends can also help with raising your ego. Personally, I have learned to express myself and even my insecurities to my close friends and usually I feel better after.
Thank you for reading my blog and please feel free to email me if you have any questions concerns, or comments at fitnessmindsconnect@gmail.com
xoxo
Stefanie Choh
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